We’re all guilty of it: Finding new and interesting ways to distract us from areas of our lives we would rather not interact with.
It becomes so incredibly easy to find ways to stay busy. I’ll often find myself with 10 or more open browser tabs, jumping furiously between them, trying to mark things off my to-do list as quickly as possible, not realizing I’m just procrastinating and delaying any sort of stillness. It becomes an art form that is practiced and refined day-in and day-out. Sometimes we do this simply to avoid feeling difficult emotions we assume we don’t have time for because it will keep us from accomplishing all of our tasks. Soon we start to believe our delusion that we are actually accomplishing something of value. We miss out on the true value of living. We miss out on connection. We feel empty inside.
The truth is, our society values productivity and accomplishments to the detriment of actually living a life of value. It can feel challenging to constantly keep up with what is expected of us and many people eventually burn out. This is when people tend to find me. It makes perfect sense because when our soul is ready for the reset button and we are tired of staying busy for the sake of staying busy, we intuitively seek change. Perhaps also at this point, our physical body has suffered the consequences of our busyness. Maybe we have unexplained pain, or weight we just can’t seem to lose. Maybe our hormones are out of balance, or our gut health is deteriorating. Maybe we are emotionally unstable, or we are afraid to feel our feelings. Whatever signals the body is sending, it is trying to get our attention. The body adapts to our insistence to live outside of our soul’s purpose as much as it can, until it can no longer adapt. The signals from the body continue to grow louder until it is the only thing we can hear anymore.
Now you might be wondering, how can we focus less on being busy and more on living a life of value?
First, you must identify what you value. Do you want to create more time to spend with your loved ones? Do you value learning about new subjects or about topics that intrigue you? Do you wish to tend to your health so you can live a life full of vibrancy? Do you love creative projects and trying your hand at new skills? Do you value connecting with and supporting others? Do you enjoy nature and want to learn how to be more in alignment with the Earth? Dig deep into your soul and explore what wants to be expressed in this life.
Second, break it down simply and choose 3 core values to focus on. But before you do, close your eyes. Take a deep breath and take 3-5 minutes to visualize 3 areas of your life that are important to you. Notice how your heart chakra feels when you allow yourself to visualize what is valuable to you. Trust your intuition here and if you are struggling to identify the words, use the following list as a guide. This list is not exhaustive by any means so stay open to any insights you receive from your soul.
- Authenticity
- Achievement
- Adventure
- Authority
- Autonomy
- Balance
- Beauty
- Boldness
- Compassion
- Challenge
- Citizenship
- Community
- Competency
- Contribution
- Creativity
- Curiosity
- Determination
- Fairness
- Faith
- Fame
- Friendships
- Fun
- Growth
- Happiness
- Honesty
- Humor
- Influence
- Inner Harmony
- Justice
- Kindness
- Knowledge
- Leadership
- Learning
- Love
- Loyalty
- Meaningful Work
- Openness
- Optimism
- Peace
- Pleasure
- Poise
- Popularity
- Recognition
- Religion
- Reputation
- Respect
- Responsibility
- Security
- Self-Respect
- Service
- Spirituality
- Stability
- Success
- Status
- Trustworthiness
- Wealth
- Wisdom
Third, list out all of the activities you partake in on a daily basis. There is nothing more eye opening than seeing exactly where you spend your time. Do you spend 2+ hours a day scrolling social media? Do you say you’re too busy to get a workout in but spend your “extra” time binge watching Netflix on the weekends? Awareness is everything!
Fourth, decide which daily activities contribute to your 3 core values and where you can create more time to focus on them. One of my core values is creativity, yet I was spending ample amounts of time avoiding the opportunity for more creativity to enter into my life by staying busy with tasks I believed I needed to work on to build my business (i.e. social media posting). Truthfully, I’ve always enjoyed writing and blogging more, because for me there has always felt like more value in taking time to read a book or a blog. And if I’m being honest, even if I believe the person’s post is brilliant, I’m not always stopping to read the captions on social media (who has time for that anyway?).
Fifth, write out your perfect day. This is an excellent way to tell the universe exactly what you want instead of what you don’t want. Do you want to have slow mornings where you can sip cacao and journal? Do you want time to take an afternoon workout class? Do you wish to spend more time playing in nature? Do you desire to spend time with your loved ones every day? Imagine a world of unlimited possibilities and have fun with it! Not everything on your list will be implemented right away but you’ll at least have an idea of what you want.
Sixth, start living it. This step may seem easier said than done and some habits die hard. You might have planned to spend the day hiking and foraging in the forest, but you’re feeling worn out from the week so you turn on the TV and spend the weekend on the couch instead. It is completely normal to want to “stay busy” with something other than what you really want. My advice is simply this: give yourself grace in these moments, notice how your body is responding to your decision, and see if you can create space for what you value in the coming week. Remember, our brains have been engrained with the art of staying busy and it will take time for a new pattern to arise.
If these steps have been helpful for you or if you have other methods that have worked well for you, please share your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear your feedback!